Interestingly, my day 180 update isn't going to have pictures showing me 6 months ago vs. how awesome I look now. That last part is kind of tongue in cheek, but I am very proud of myself. There won't be weight & measurements showing how much progress I have made; instead, this is more of an introspective look at the REAL progress I've made in the last 180 days.
The most stressful period of time I can point to in my life was the fall of 2008 through spring of 2009. I had just taken a week-long trip with my dad to Kentucky to visit his brothers and sisters. I'd fish in the early mornings and then hang out with dad and my family from Kentucky that I don't see often.
About 2 weeks after we got home, I got a call. "Dad had a stroke. He's not going to make it long. You need to come home today."
It was an absolute shock going from having Dad take turns driving with me from Ohio to Kentucky to not knowing if he even recognized me. Dad made an awesome recovery and is doing well now. In the middle of it, though, it was amazingly tough. It was difficult trying to balance being there to help my mom while trying to not let my business and wife sit neglected 5 hours away at home.
At the same time, every channel on TV was covering the housing market crash. The stock market went insane and eventually dropped to around 6000. My business in the financial services industry added another level of stress to the situation. Every day I was getting calls from people asking if they should cash in their life savings and buy a bunker to avoid the coming riots. I got some laughs out of frantic clients, but overall it was not fun.
When I line up the weigh in dates on my excel sheet with stressful situations in my life there's an obvious pattern. When the stress level is high, my weight increases. I gained about 40 lbs. in a matter of months during that 2008-2009 time frame. It was the second highest entry in my weight/measurement/photo history.
I am not ready to share details at this time, but I'd rank the past week next behind the experience above in terms of stress, but not by that much. Something is very different this time though. I'm in control of myself instead of allowing the circumstances around me to be in charge. It may be cheesy, but I see parallels between myself and Neo from the movie "The Matrix." In the scene at the end, Neo finally realizes he can bend or break the rules at will. The Matrix no longer controls him. He watches curiously as the bullets fly toward him, but he simply stretches out his hand and stops them. His fingers close on a single bullet and he inspects it. Then, upon examining it and deeming them no risk, he simply waves his hand and the bullets drop to the ground. (Isaiah 54:17 – Seems a pretty clear Biblical parallel to me)
Instead of realizing I control everything like Neo, I now understand I control very little (Matthew 25:14-30 - I guess if I learn to take REALLY good care of the few things in my control, I'll be entrusted with more)
Since the common theme of my blog is my success with DDP Yoga, I'll share the way the man himself says it, “You control how you breathe, how you react, how you adapt, and how you take action.” There is another version that goes something like, stand up straight, take a deep breath, step up (take action)! Popular author and speaker Tony Robbins talks about your physiology (how you use and move your body) and the effect this has on your psychology (emotional and mental state). I’m obviously a little slow to get it, since I've "known" this info for a long time. I have heard it SO many different ways, but I am just starting to recognize the same information being taught by different people using a slightly different spin.
I wanted to include another variation a friend shared with me.
I could relate to the need to practice letting go from . . . when I was preparing for natural/unmedicated childbirth! The Bradley method incorporates a number of exercises aimed at strengthening the muscles that are key for delivering a baby, but it really focuses on helping the expectant mother to prepare to purposefully, intentionally relax. It seems so silly/unnecessary on the surface, but you really need to practice and train in order to be able to relax your muscles and breathe in ways that will help (not hinder). You have to do it over and over in advance, so that during those moments/hours when you really need it, it will be almost second nature (well, probably with some timely prompting from your ‘coach’ [aka, my husband, in my case]). Without the preparation, there would be no way I could have relaxed through the moments when most of the muscles in my body wanted to clench against the pain! But when I intentionally let go and stayed relaxed, I could almost just ride through the waves, and they weren't amplified by tension that I added myself.
I control how I breathe; how I move by body; what I eat; as well as how I react, adapt, and what actions I take based upon situations that are presented to me. Once I let go of trying to control the rest of the world, things seem infinitely simpler. I think it's because my brain has much less to be concerned with, so it comes up with better solutions for the things upon which I can take action and have a positive effect.
I don't know if that sounds weird, but it seems like an obvious truth when I really look at it.
"Let go and let God." I've heard this cliché so many times, but it's so true. The only thing I'd add is you need practice letting go. You have to train yourself to do that. I think part of that training means having a healthy body that you are in control of and the ability to control your breathing and heart rate in the face of "stressful" situations. There's more than one way to accomplish that, but why try to reinvent the wheel. I know DDP Yoga works. It works for me; it can work for ANYONE. I seriously don’t care how bad of shape you're in; you can get in amazing shape with some DVDs, a mat, and a heart rate monitor. In your living room. Any time of day.
If DDP Yoga really isn’t your thing, go find yours. Swimming, running, climbing, biking, sports, lifting--you can make the ideal workout for your lifestyle and body. You have to be willing to try some stuff out and research to get a well-rounded workout, though. Hint: CrossFit isn't it. Just. No. (I'm a nobody at the moment, but if I get famous, come at me Reebok.) I'll probably cover what I consider is necessary for a comprehensive fitness program at a later date.
To sum up, this day 180 update is not about how much weight I lost (I think I met my goal though, so I will update next week). I don’t have pictures to compare 6 months of progress. The change physically is nothing compared tithe change I feel internally. I truly feel like a different person.
I'm not going to end this with a BANG! This situation I'm dealing with at the moment is not done, and I'd appreciate continued prayers for me and my family. I will say I'm confident that God's hand is on the situation, and I know I don't have to worry about it (Matthew 10:29-31).
-CJ
